We are just 18 days different, I am older than you. Tomorrow is your birth day. Yeah, Happy birthday in advance. Only wish the happiness for your life ahead. Be a good one in every circumstance. I like you just the same.
Too directly tell it huh? Well, before I explain what I feel. Love is sometimes scary. Well, whatever you have told me in two days before my birthday (August 24th), I still have the same, yeah something called ‘feeling’. Same shape, smell, and color of feeling for you. Don’t know why, although you had left me such a pain.
Really, until now I can’t think why you did this to me. When I ‘hi’ you, you replied. Then I was still being myself, pretend that there is nothing wrong happen between us. But you just lock me. Said it is not good for us to talk. I remember, words you told me before you lock my number at that time.
‘Let us avoid each other for some more time. Happy birthday.’
Firstly, I was so happy that you remember my birthday. but after i found you lock my number again, suddenly the pain appeared, it is like something hit my heart. You know at that time, I was in cafetaria, after teaching Korean, I ate alone there. Then my tears came down. You hurt me, again.
And now, days before your birthday, you are on there, unlock my number and give me ‘hi’ again. I hate myself, because I reply it. And the reason why you pinged me that i can not get it.
See? We are hardly friends since I like you. I dont know how to be like when we were in first time we know each other. It has broken. Our friendship. Please, if you want a happy for me, give something that can not break my heart please. I dont know how much tears I cry. It because I took it too serious. Or I took my feeling too serious.
I thought you want me, but maybe it was wrong. Seriously, I am sorry. I am too childish, i don’t know how to act when loving someone, someone that… that… okay forget it. I just want to write it down, on my blog, while my favorite songs play for giving some emotion on it. If I talk to you about this, maybe you will lock me again, and gone forever.
I just want you to be happy. Happy birthday, my dear.
PS. Don’t reach out me. you said.